Who are you?

If someone asked you, 'Who are you?' How would you answer? I've been thinking about this subject, off on and on, for all of my life, I think. The reality of course is that I am many things, wife, mother, former dog breeder, poet, writer, thinker of sometimes deep thoughts.

I am also a friend, and a community member, whose 'community' brings together the things that interest me. If the question was changed to this one - 'What do you do?' I would have to say, I write and I try to enjoy my life. They may have been expecting me to say what my profession was, as in, I'm a public servant, or I'm a stablehand, or some such thing. I've been both of those things and others, and both earned me money, the public servant earned me the most. (as a teenage stablehand, I wasn't paid much, but I was working for my dad, and didn't expect much money from it anyway - I was still at school).

image from my most recent self-published book Doggone It! Mindfulness from a Dog's Point of View, 

to be launched at the Gawler Festival of Words in July this year

This question of being labelled by how much money I earn is obviously not terribly important to me. If it was, I would write fiction of the kind that sold thousands of copies (or try to, anyway), instead of writing the blogs I write, poetry, and self-published bits of fluff, or things of interest to me and some others perhaps, but not well marketed. If I was a crack self-promoter, I may be able to make lots of money with the kinds of writing I do. I'm not sure that's the way I wish to go though. I have a chronic illness that slows me down somewhat at times, and that means I don't go well if I'm feeling stressed. (This is a proven thing, not just me having a whinge ...)

Living a stress-free life means I can live well, and that is certainly a good thing. I'm happy to be a good-enough whatever it is I'm going. Surely being Good Enough should be all I need to do? And sometimes other people tell me they find my actions inspirational, or say a poem I've written speaks to them in good ways. To those people I always say 'Thank you', and try to continue to act in ways that seem good to me. Good Enough is the starting point, and I hope Good Enough becomes Good, the more I do it.

So, thinking about who I am, I suspect the main thing about who I am, is that I am a person who tries to be a good person. Good in word and good in action too, for if I say I am doing good things, but don't look like I am, if my actions don't match my words, then I may not be a good person at all. Some good actions are unseen, a smile at a stranger that is given back to me by that person, that is a good thing to do, but I certainly wouldn't hang a sign around my neck proclaiming that good action to the world. I feel doing good things is its own reward, and when I look at my day and think on my own actions, I'm happy that I can almost always say inside that I have been a good person today.

The writing group I'm president of has a theme of Identity for the Festival we're holding this year, and that thing is why I began writing this blog post. I identify as a writer, and poet professionally, I suppose, I will never be a mega rich one of those, I am only know as these things in a small way, but they are important to me, and they add meaning to my life. I certainly don't in my heart, identify as being a 'disabled person' although I am that too. My disease is a part of me, yes, but it certainly isn't who I am. Who I am, goes well beyond multiple sclerosis, and is a limiting kind of label for me, although I'm aware some people are able to use their illness in an uplifting way, but for me, it is a minor part only of who I am.

That's it for this post, but I may go on pondering these thoughts for a while yet. Identity certainly was part of my first poetry collection - I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, and that is where some of my labelling of being an inspiration to others has come from. Being inspirational to other people who have also been abuse is one of the things I am most proud of. The journey from victim to survivor, and then thriver is a difficult journey and I wish my fellow travellers well.

So who are you, which labels are you happy to wear? After all, many people may try to label you, but we all have our own story, and only we, are the ones who should have the permission to apply our labels in life. What do you think? I'd love to know your thoughts about this ...

Handling Life's Rubbish

"You don't have to accept rubbish, just because it's being handed to you."

I wrote this  in response to a comment someone had written on Facebook, and after I'd written my words, I started thinking about what I'd really written. People often give opinions about you that you feel are unfair and untrue. 

We are all the best judge of the truth of things in our life (if we are truly honest with ourselves). But if people say things about us and we just accept the so-called truth of what they say, we can begin to believe the lies too. This sounds ridiculous, but some people can be so powerful in the way they say things, and the talk can be so consistent, we can indeed doubt ourselves.

But the reality of it is that no-one knows more than you than you do, and if it really feels like a lie to you, after you've properly considered it, then the other person probably is lying. And if the thing being said, and the unwanted things being handed to you are wrong, you truly don't have to believe the words or accept them.

And if people constantly give you tasks to do that don't seem like they're actually yours to do, then you don't have to take on the task. If it's your actual paid job, and the task is your job to do, then of course you have to do it, if it really is in your job description, and it's not illegal, or against the rules for doing that thing. 

If people are loading your life up with rubbish, you never have to accept the rubbish. Turn your back on the giver of rubbish, close your ears to the untruthful words. Live the life you believe is really yours.

Write Yourself Well

This is the name of a poetry workshop I am running every Sunday. It takes place in Gawler at the beautifully name Poetic Justice Cafe Gallery. The workshop is based on creative writing, about many different things in life, and has a small but dedicated band of attendees.

There is a payment for attendees, but the cost is minimal, because I feel I am still very much a trainee at being a workshop presenter. I am confident though that I am worth at least ten times what I am asking for. To me, the important thing is that I am introducing people poetic ideas to people who formerly thought poetry had to rhyme, or who hadn't written anything poetic for many years.

The venue and the people whose venue it is are supportive of what I do there, in fact, one of the couple attends the workshop if and when she can. Sometimes she has to get up and serve a customer, because that's her job, the poetry is just for fun.

The workshops last around an hour and a bit, the coffee is good, and the food is great. The art works on the walls are interesting, with one artwork in particular that is interesting to me - it's a portrait of me, that one of the artists on display painted, using a photograph she'd taken of me. I feel humbled that this lady felt compelled to paint me, and so thrilled with the quality of her work.

This cafe is a special place for me, I am there three times a week as the writer-in-residence, and copies of three of my books are there for sale. If anyone buys one of my books when I am not there, the people there take the money to hand on to me, and they let the book buyer know that if they come back when I am there, I will sign their book for them. It's a terrific arrangement for all involved!

I believe deeply in the therapeutic power of creative writing. Two of the book I have on sale at PJs helped me a lot as I was writing them, and putting the words together. I feel my health is going well partly because of my creative writing. Partly medication too, of course, I can't deny that. But feeling positive about life, and looking further into the ins and outs, the bits and pieces that make up a life, these are good things to look at!

How I See My Life Right Now

Today I posted a comment on an online group I visit every day. It was a random bit of silliness, following on from my far more staid and sensible and relevant comment.

This is the comment:

"My life is a multi-coloured glitter ball of creative fun and hugs!"

So the next time you see or say something silly, and start smiling, why not share it with others, and spread those lovely, healthy and happy smiles all over the place!


I was having a silly moment of fun, and forgot about it after. Then I received an email indicating that one of my fellow group members loved the comment. And then another email indicating the same thing. I went back to my initial post and read it all, and thought, wow, how silly, but how much fun that was.

Then I thought about it, and realised what we all need sometimes in life may well be these little random bits of silliness now and again. No-one is hurt by it, and indeed, if it gives other people a bit of a smile, then that is a fine thing!

I did a super quick search on Google, and found this. It's the first article that Google gave me, and I love it because it is so relevant to my blog. This is a link to the article, which tells of 9 reasons why smiling is good for you. 

Helping you to sleep at night

I’m interested in knowing whether my tactic to help me sleep at night works for other people too. I’ve had troubles with getting to sleep sometimes, and don’t like the idea of taking medication for the problem.

My troubles haven’t been severe for a long time, but I was still a little bit concerned about the length of time I was taking to fall asleep, so I tried a couple of different methods. The first was simply going to bed when I was feeling a bit sleepy, then lying down and concentrating on my breathing.

This worked OK, but wasn’t a sure-fire bet to work, so I kept thinking about it. Next I tried the slow breathing again, and counting my breaths. This seemed to work better, but I wasn’t sure if it was really working because I wasn’t paying attention to the numbers enough.

So, next I decided to count for a certain number of deep slow breaths. The number of breaths I was to count to was 500 breaths. I’ve been doing this sleep-making method for a number of weeks now, and I’m happy to be able to report that I am yet to get to the number 500!

I start the counting and slow breathing, and I go to sleep. If I’m disturbed before I get to 500, I start again from the beginning – one … two … three … and so on, and zzzzzz asleep!

I ask others reading this blog post, who have trouble sleeping, to give this method a try, and let me know how it goes for you. 

We could be onto a healthy and wonderful non-chemical treatment!